The particular terror of being a beginner at fifty is not the fear of failure — most women of that age have developed a working relationship with failure. It is the fear of looking foolish.
The neuroscience of learning in midlife is considerably more encouraging than popular culture suggests. The adult brain continues to generate new neural connections in response to novel experience and continues to be capable of genuine expertise acquisition.
The things women learn in midlife tend to have a particular quality: they are chosen. Not assigned. Chosen because something about them called to you. This quality of chosen-ness makes the learning different.
The piano lessons begun at fifty-two are not about becoming a pianist. They are about the experience of learning to hear music from the inside. The Italian lessons are about the particular pleasure of having a language that is entirely your own project.
The beginner's mind is not an embarrassment to be concealed. It is the most honest and most open relationship with the world available to us.
Questions Women Ask
Is it too late to learn something new at fifty?
No. Adults learn differently rather than worse — slower at raw memorisation, considerably faster at pattern and judgement, which is most of any real skill. The obstacle at fifty is almost never capacity; it is the discomfort of being visibly a beginner.
How do I get over feeling foolish?
Choose a room where no one knows you, pick a teacher who works with adults, and commit to twelve weeks before judging yourself. Competence arrives later than enjoyment, so the first month is meant to feel awkward.
What is worth learning in midlife?
Anything with a body in it — an instrument, a language, swimming, drawing — because the reward arrives weekly rather than someday. See the second life.